2012, Olympic National Park, Washington: Bigfoot Clearly Photographed

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2012, Olympic National Park, Washington: Bigfoot Clearly Photographed

Jason Hawes was hiking in Olympic National Park when he came upon a Bigfoot slowly walking along in the woods.

Hawes took out his camera and snapped over 20 really great photographs of the monster.

“They were really great clear pictures, you could even count the hairs on the Bigfoot’s back,” Hawes claims.

But sadly, the world will never see these photographs, because shortly after taking them, Hawes smoked a lot of dope in celebration. Sometime after Hawes lost his camera. It may have fallen down a crevice. It might have dropped in a stream. Hawes might have left it sitting on a log.

Hawes was so stoned he does not remember.

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2011, Bunny Flat Trail, California: Bigfoot Gropes Cross Country Skier

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2011, Bunny Flat Trail, California: Bigfoot Gropes Cross Country Skier

Nancy Rowland was cross country skiing along Bunny Flat Trail. She stopped to look at a strange nest exposed in the bare branches of a nearby tree.

Lost in thought, Rowland did not hear the gentle thump of the Bigfoot approaching her. Suddenly she felt the large hair arms embrace her. She started to scream as the Bigfoot pinched her behind.

Rowland claims that her scream must have startled the Bigfoot who was not used to being denied its forward advances. The gross creature, immediately released Rowland. It muttered something that sounded like a half hearted apology and then walked away with its massive head hanging low.

It did look back once or twice, almost as if the Bigfoot expected Rowland to call it back for more bottom pinching.

2014, Guerneville, California: Bigfoot Seen Drinking from Hot Tub

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2014, Guerneville, California: Bigfoot Seen Drinking from Hot Tub

Noelle Powell was staying with her two dogs in a cabin in the Russian River area. She got up in the middle of the night because her larger dog, London, was barking like a crazy person. Powell, more scared of Meth head hillbillies than any sort of creature, looked out the window where London was furiously barking.

Powell saw a Bigfoot leaning over the uncovered hot tub on the side of her cabin. Powell described the creature as incredibly hairy, over 12 feet tall, and with glowering red eyes. She knocked on the window. The creature looked up with hot tub water dripping down its furry face. Powell yelled at the creature through the window to stop drinking from the hot tub, that that water was nasty. The Bigfoot, clearly, confused by the reprimand, slowly backed off into the darkness.

The next day she called her friend to report the sighting this way, “Clearly it was a Bigfoot, which is ridiculous because everyone knows there is no such thing as Bigfoot.”

2016, Pike County, Ohio: Bigfoot Attacks Meth Lab

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2016, Pike County, Ohio: Bigfoot Attacks Meth Lab

Detective Ahmed Richy reports that a meth trailer in the woods of Pike County was attacked by a Bigfoot. Or at least some powerful humanoid creature. The siding of the trailer was ripped open like a tin can. There were gash marks clearly made by claws. There were wild hair samples stuck to the sharp edges of the ripped open trailer walls. The inside of the trailer was completely smashed up, demolished in a way that only a beastman could have accomplished. In addition, there were 17 inch paw prints scattered around in the dirt around the trailer.

Detective Richy is certain that the meth trailer was targeted by the Bigfoot because of the noxious odors coming from it.

2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

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2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

Maddy and Connor Bosarge were racing to play on the playground near where their family was camping in Lake Hiddenwood Park. Maddy who was six and Connor who was 11, stopped dead in their tracks when they saw a huge Bigfoot sitting on the top of the swing set.

“We know what Bigfoot looks like from library books,” Maddy stated matter of factly.

“Maddy knows more about Bigfoot than me,” Connor admits, “but I at least know what he looks like.”

“Yes, I am going to be a cryptozoologist when I grow up,” Maddy boasts, “So this isn’t going to be the last time I see Bigfoot, I guess.”

“Maddy said we should just leave Bigfoot alone, so we just turned around and went down by the creek.”

“Yes. I think Bigfoot was thinking about stuff. Or at least he looked like he was,” Maddy assured.

The children’s parents just think the two are quite the characters.

2016, Uwharrie National Forest, North Carolina: Bigfoot Juice Experiment

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2016, Uwharrie National Forest, North Carolina: Bigfoot Juice Experiment

Housewife and blogger Robyn Rook invented a juice that she claimed would attract Bigfoot. The unimaginatively named Bigfoot Juice was made from a secret combination of fruits and berries, native to North America. One person who tried the juice himself said it tasted a lot like ordinary cranberry juice.

In order to boost sales of her product, Rook orchestrated a publicity stunt in which she left big open vats of Bigfoot Juice around Uwharrie Forest. The local news sponsored the motion activated cameras set up to record the inevitable arrival of Bigfoot.

Unsurprisingly no Bigfoot showed up. Rook’s sales spiked, then dropped off completely. Rook stopped production of Bigfoot juice in 2017 and deleted her blog.

2011, Capitol State Forest, Washington: Bigfoot Chases Shadow People

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2011, Capitol State Forest, Washington: Bigfoot Chases Shadow People

Trevor Reichard was in Capitol State Forest waiting for a friend to bring him something in a box. While Trevor smoked his third cigarette, he heard a tremendous crash then saw three blurry figures rush by. The figures barely had and shape, but still looked like people. Shadows of people.

Then a second later, a huge Bigfoot came plowing through the underbrush. The Bigfoot was racing full speed, all its focus was on those floating, shadow figures.

Reichard watched as the Bigfoot continued to chase the shadow figures, even when they flew into the trees and seemed about to take off into the sky. The massive creature leaped into the trees and swung like Tarzan from tree to tree.

To this day, Reichard is not sure what those shadow people were, but he is convinced that Bigfoot is on our side against them.