2010, Payette National Forest, Idaho: Bigfoot Tears Up Saplings

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2010, Payette National Forest, Idaho: Bigfoot Tears Up Saplings

Park Ranger George Guenther was checking on a new growth area in Payette National Forest. He was charged with counting the new saplings.

As Guenther sat in his jeep making notes on his grid, he was suddenly surprised to see a figure come bounding through the area. The creature was clearly a Bigfoot given its massive size and two foot long stride.

Guenther watched in horror as the monster started pulling up the new little trees. It would swing the uprooted sapling over its head then let the tree fly through the air in random directions.

Guenther counted four trees destroyed this way, before in his anger he started honking the horn and flashing his lights. The Bigfoot was scared off and ran back they way it had come.

In hindsight, Guenther feels lucky the creature did not attack his jeep.

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2010, Devil’s Lake Park, Wisconsin: Drunk Lady is Pushed Off Cliff by Bigfoot

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2010, Devil’s Lake Park, Wisconsin: Drunk Lady is Pushed Off Cliff by Bigfoot

Ashlee Price had been partying and drink Bud Lights all afternoon when she wandered away from her friends. Price was upset about something Vicky said to Connor about something that happened at Taylors two weeks ago. Which was totally NOT true.

Price stumbled up an undesignated part off West Bluff Trail. She thinks she may have been looking for somewhere to pee. Suddenly a large creature rushed at her and shoved her down. She looked up at the monster and recongized it as a Bigfoot.

As she scrambled backward, the Bigfoot kept approaching her. Price managed to stand up. That is when the Bigfoot pushed her again, this time send her over the side of a 25 foot drop.

She broke her leg and elbow in the fall. He friends came running when they heard the gleeful howling laughter of the Bigfoot. The monster was doing a little dance and pointing and howling with what Price interpreted as mockery of her.

Price made a full recovery, but had a difficult time convincing the authorities that a Bigfoot pushed her and not one of her drunk friends.

2010, Harriman State Park, Idaho: Hikers See Bigfoot

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2010, Harriman State Park, Idaho: Hikers See Bigfoot

Amy Castelli and Debbie Handy were hiking along the Heart Attack Hill trail. They were talking about tv shows and the new job the Handy applied for but had not heard anything back, when the saw something moving near the river bed.

Castelli at first thought it was a hunter or maybe a man in a camouflage suit. But Handy, who admittedly has better eyesight, recognized the figure as a Bigfoot right away.

Handy put her arm out to stop Castelli from taking another step. They both stood absolutely still, holding their breath, watching as the Bigfoot sloshed around in the wetlands around the riverbed.

The creature splashed around a bit more, taking no notice of the two ladies near by watching it. Eventually, the Bigfoot turned and ran at top speed off across the opposite field and disappeared into the trees.

Castelli and Handy love to recount how they had a hiking date with Bigfoot. Though, it is possible that the Bigfoot would characterize it as a date.

2010, Windrock Mountain, Tennessee: Mountain Bikers Attacked by Bigfoot

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2010, Windrock Mountain, Tennessee: Mountain Bikers Attacked by Bigfoot

Jeff “Brickman” Brickman and Rod “Tray” Traynor were mountain biking down the Middle Finger trail. It was around dusk and the light was breaking up as it filtered through the trees.

Brickman was leading.

“Tray was totally trying to catch up,” Brickman continues, “I could hear him huffing and puffing like a little bitch.”

Traynor just sniffles.

“Anyway, before I know it, there is this monterous scream and then there is this hairy dude…”

“Creature,” Traynor interrupts.

“…Yeah, this big muscly creature like a ‘roid head from the gym, you know. And just as effing hairy too. Like one of them Armenian plumbers, I knew in Fresno,” Brickman bragged.

“Yeah, Brickman, used to live in Fresno, in case he hasn’t mentioned it yet. He will, about a billion more times,”” Traynor spit his chew into an empty Monster drink.

“So anyway, this creature is just howling and screaming and waving its long hairy arms. I thought I was at an Edgar Winter Concert…”

“Who?”

“Edgar Winter! Man, he is this albino scientologist wicked guitar player…” Brickman started to air guitar.

“Whatever, man, get back to the bigfoot…”

“Right. So this damn Bigfoot, ’cause that is totally what the creature was, man. It was a huge stinky bigfoot and he started hauling ass after us. It comes barrelling down, crashing through the tress and shit. Tray sped past me. I could tell he totally pissed his pants too!”

“Aw man. You did to. Especially, when that bigfoot started chucking rocks at you,” Traynor said with a red face.

“Yeah, it totally did. But I don’t think he was trying to hit me. Not really. I mean if that bigfoot really wanted to it could have totally annihilated us, son. I mean, personally, I think it was just effing with us.”

“Yeah you might be right. I mean it did just stop. Just like that,” Traynor claps his hands in front of his face.

“Me, personally, I think bigfoot is kind of a dick,” Brickman said stoically.

Traynor laughed and laughed.

2010, Gila National Forest, New Mexico: Man Discovers Bigfoot Tunnels

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2010, Gila National Forest, New Mexico: Man Discovers Bigfoot Tunnels

Dennis Taupeman was hiking along Catwalk Trail in the Gila National Forest. No one else was on the trail, which he thought was odd for the time of year. Then he saw at the top of one of the bends on the gorge, a very hairy man leap up in the air. When the figure landed, it seemed to sink into the ground.

Intrigued, Taupeman scrambled up the gorge. When he got to the spot where the hairy apeman disappeared, he saw Bigfoot pints in the dirt around a patch of weeds. Taupeman looked closely and saw that there was a tunnel entrance hidden in the weeds.

Taupeman’s natural instinct was to leave immediately, but he was curious. So he entered the tunnel, though he did not leap in like the creature. Taupeman only went about twenty, thirty, forty feet into the tunnel before it got too dark for him to go on without fear of hurting himself.

Taupeman concluded that Bigfoot lives most of its life in these or similar tunnels and must have excellent night vision.

2010, Mohican-Memorial State Forest, Ohio: Cub Scout Canoe Trip Interrupted

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2010, Mohican-Memorial State Forest, Ohio: Cub Scout Canoe Trip Interrupted

Scout Leader, Josh Fitzgerald took Troop 523 for a day long canoeing trip. There were 12 Cub Scout in 4 canoes. Josh was in the lead canoe, a mistake he quickly realized. Since he could not keep an eye on the boys behind him, the boys started to misbehave.

The boys ignored the rule of keeping their arms and legs inside the canoes at all times. They were splashing each other. In at least two of the canoes the boys were rocking back and forth, trying to get the canoe to capsize.

Josh turned his canoe around to face the group behind him, since they all were just floating on the current. No one was paddling anymore. Some of the boys were screaming and the laughing got louder and louder. As Josh brought his whistle to his lips, one of the shy boys in his canoe, Miles, suddenly stood up.

Miles shook with fear and pointed toward the far bank. All the other boys looked to see what Miles was pointing at. When they saw the 15 foot black Bigfoot standing on the muddy bank, pandemonium broke out. Some of the Cub Scouts jumped into the water, others burst into tears, a few started paddling away.

The Bigfoot beat its massive chest and roared at the boys. Its roar was deafening.

Once complete silence settled over the river. The boys too terrified to make another peep, the Bigfoot shook its monstrous head. Slowly, it turned and moved up the embankment to disappear into the woods.

No matter what Josh told the boys later, they all were convinced they had narrowly escaped being torn apart and eaten alive. In the end, he was forced to create a survival badge to award the troop for their supposed bravery.

2010, Near New Washington, Ohio: Bus Load of Elderly Attacked By Bigfoot

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2010, Near New Washington, Ohio: Bus Load of Elderly Attacked By Bigfoot

Joe Toth was driving a charter bus from Newark to Kelley’s Island, Ohio. It was about a three hour trip, but since Toth was charter by a senior citizen retirement home, his route was off the major freeways.

About half way into the trip, just outside of New Washington and about twenty-five minutes after the last scheduled bathroom stop, Toth’s bus started to act funny – like all the power was draining.

Toth gunned the engine but it just sputtered and stalled. He barely got the bus over to the side of the road. They were really in the middle of nowhere, only flat nearly barren farmland as far as anyone could see.

Just as the seniors started to get restless, Toth came back into the bus to inform the travelers that another bus was on its way. It was then, as Toth finished his little speech, that the bus started rocking back and forth.

All the seniors tsk tsked and gasp as big hairy palms slapped at the windows and huge yellow teeth gnashed in growling howls. Toth got a good look at it as it bolted around the bus.

“It was a Bigfoot if I ever seen one. Looks just like that fellow they got on the television these days. Nasty smelly ape man with huge feet,” Toth reported.

After about twenty minutes of the Bigfoot attack, the seniors all worked up and agitated, the assault ended just as quickly as it started.

“Sure enough, as soon as that Bigfoot left, didn’t the bus start right back up,” Toth said, “Seems to me that the Bigfoot had some magical power that drained all the electricity out of the bus. Its the only explanation.”