1969, Malheur National Forest, Oregon: Bigfoot Pulls Ponytails of Hikers

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1969, Malheur National Forest, Oregon: Bigfoot Pulls Ponytails of Hikers

Hippies, Gerry Klein and John Cielo, were smoking marijuana and hiking in Malheur Forest. They had stopped to eat some granola that Cielo’s old lady packed for them.

Suddenly, a large ape creature leaped over a nearby boulder and ran up to the two hippies. The pair immediately recognized the creature as a Bigfoot. Klein tried to offer the creature some of their granola, but the monster wanted none of that nuts and berries bullshit.

Angered that the two humans did not have junk food on them, the Bigfoot pulled the hippie’s ponytails really hard. Cielo claimed to have “a headache for like a week,” while Klein said the hair tug really “harshed his mellow.”

Once the Bigfoot pulled their hair, the hippies said it bounced off over the rocks, presumably looking for junk food else where.

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1977, Conconully State Park, Washington: Woman Claims Bigfoot Kidnapped Her

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1977, Conconully State Park, Washington: Woman Claims Bigfoot Kidnapped Her

Early in the morning, a disheveled and confused Bernice Rutenbar, stumbled out of the woods into a Conconully campsite. Rutenbar’s clothes were in tatters and her hair was matted and full of twigs.

Rutenbar claimed that she had be grabbed out of her sleeping bag about 90 days ago by a Bigfoot. The creature took her to his lair, where it made her his wife. Rutenbar had to have relations with the beast, clean up, and prepare food that the monster brought back to the cave.

Rutenbar was unable to escape because the Bigfoot rolled a big boulder in front of the cave opening when it left for the day. After many days of torment and nights alone, Rutenbar was able to escape when the Bigfoot left a hole in the cave entrance.

Rutenbar wandered around for a day or two before finding the campsites. There was no physical evidence that Rutenbar had been violated by a Bigfoot, nor was she able to locate the cave she claims she escaped from. She was able to sell the rights of her story to a seedy paperback novelist who published a book called, “Bigfoot, My Husband,” which was loosely based on the Rutenbar tale.

1984, Quartz Mountain Nature Park, Oklahoma: Bigfoot Taunts Fisherman

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1984, Quartz Mountain Nature Park, Oklahoma: Bigfoot Taunts Fisherman

While fishing in Quartz Park, Robert Pintoze was terrorized by a mischievous Bigfoot. Pintoze thought he felt a tug on his line, but when he tried to reel it in, he lost control of his rod and it flew into the river.

Amazed, Pintoze stood up. As he did, a brown hairy carpet seemed to float to the surface right where fishing rod went into the river. As Pintoze watched, a Bigfoot emerged from the river. It started splashing and growling and splashing water at Pintoze.

Pintoze was so frightened that he turned on his heels and ran toward his car. He left an expensive lawn chair, a cool full of beer, and a bunch of new fishing equipment behind.

As Pintoze ran away, he is certain that he heard that Bigfoot laughing at him.

1820, Cumberland Gap, Kentucky: Bigfoot Emerges From Portal

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1820, Cumberland Gap, Kentucky: Bigfoot Emerges From Portal Carrying a Squid

Andrew Rock and James Stanwick were riding through Cumberland Gap when just about sundown they witnessed a truly horrifying event.

Rock and Stanwick’s horses started getting very nervous. The kind of nervous that let you know a dangerous snake was near or a big storm was coming. They both horse bucked and tried to throw their riders.

Stanwick saw what frightened the horses. Up on the side of one of the cliffs, a swirling color tide pool appeared. Stanwick said it looked like when the water goes down a drain but instead it was the side of the mountain that disappeared. Out of the swirling mass stepped the biggest hairy creature either of the two men had ever seen.

The creature was over 16 feet tall. Rock swore it was a Bigfoot, but Stanwick said it was too big. Either way the monster stepped out into the air, and walked down like it was walking down stairs, until it was on solid dirt.

The creature snarled at the two riders, then walked off without further incident. The portal it emerged from, slowly closed up with a slight popping sound.

2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

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2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

Maddy and Connor Bosarge were racing to play on the playground near where their family was camping in Lake Hiddenwood Park. Maddy who was six and Connor who was 11, stopped dead in their tracks when they saw a huge Bigfoot sitting on the top of the swing set.

“We know what Bigfoot looks like from library books,” Maddy stated matter of factly.

“Maddy knows more about Bigfoot than me,” Connor admits, “but I at least know what he looks like.”

“Yes, I am going to be a cryptozoologist when I grow up,” Maddy boasts, “So this isn’t going to be the last time I see Bigfoot, I guess.”

“Maddy said we should just leave Bigfoot alone, so we just turned around and went down by the creek.”

“Yes. I think Bigfoot was thinking about stuff. Or at least he looked like he was,” Maddy assured.

The children’s parents just think the two are quite the characters.

1883, Smoky Bear, New Mexico: Werewolf Billy the Kid Fights Bigfoot

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1883, Smoky Bear, New Mexico: Werewolf Billy the Kid Fights Bigfoot

Two years after the supposed killing of Billy the Kid by Sheriff Pat Garrett at Pete Maxwell’s, the good Christians near Smoky Bear, New Mexico reported seeing a terrible wolf monster killing livestock and terrorizing small children.

A posse was called up and the group spent several long nights patrolling the area with no sign nor signal of any monster or rustler.

Then on the night of September 19, a group under the leadership of Col. John Williams Jasper came across a truly disturbing scene. The group of five men, rounded a bend in the road to find a man with a wolf’s head locked in mortal combat with a large hairy ape man.

At first the group thought it had to be a joke played by a visiting theater troupe or maybe some mischievous teenagers. But when they saw the gore start to fly through the air and heard the painful howls of both creatures, the men could not mistake the fight as real and true.

The ape creature prevailed, finally gutting and lopping off the head of the wolfman. It screamed in victory then slowly lumbered off into the darkness to lick its own substantial wounds.

When the men went to examine the body of the wolfman, they were horrified to discover the man was dressed just like the dead man Billy the Kid. Uncertain what to do, Col. Jasper ordered the body to be burned and swore the men to secrecy.

Whatever those men saw that night, surely disturbed them. But the wolf creature killings suddenly stopped.

2010, Payette National Forest, Idaho: Bigfoot Tears Up Saplings

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2010, Payette National Forest, Idaho: Bigfoot Tears Up Saplings

Park Ranger George Guenther was checking on a new growth area in Payette National Forest. He was charged with counting the new saplings.

As Guenther sat in his jeep making notes on his grid, he was suddenly surprised to see a figure come bounding through the area. The creature was clearly a Bigfoot given its massive size and two foot long stride.

Guenther watched in horror as the monster started pulling up the new little trees. It would swing the uprooted sapling over its head then let the tree fly through the air in random directions.

Guenther counted four trees destroyed this way, before in his anger he started honking the horn and flashing his lights. The Bigfoot was scared off and ran back they way it had come.

In hindsight, Guenther feels lucky the creature did not attack his jeep.