1969, Malheur National Forest, Oregon: Bigfoot Pulls Ponytails of Hikers

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1969, Malheur National Forest, Oregon: Bigfoot Pulls Ponytails of Hikers

Hippies, Gerry Klein and John Cielo, were smoking marijuana and hiking in Malheur Forest. They had stopped to eat some granola that Cielo’s old lady packed for them.

Suddenly, a large ape creature leaped over a nearby boulder and ran up to the two hippies. The pair immediately recognized the creature as a Bigfoot. Klein tried to offer the creature some of their granola, but the monster wanted none of that nuts and berries bullshit.

Angered that the two humans did not have junk food on them, the Bigfoot pulled the hippie’s ponytails really hard. Cielo claimed to have “a headache for like a week,” while Klein said the hair tug really “harshed his mellow.”

Once the Bigfoot pulled their hair, the hippies said it bounced off over the rocks, presumably looking for junk food else where.

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1977, Conconully State Park, Washington: Woman Claims Bigfoot Kidnapped Her

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1977, Conconully State Park, Washington: Woman Claims Bigfoot Kidnapped Her

Early in the morning, a disheveled and confused Bernice Rutenbar, stumbled out of the woods into a Conconully campsite. Rutenbar’s clothes were in tatters and her hair was matted and full of twigs.

Rutenbar claimed that she had be grabbed out of her sleeping bag about 90 days ago by a Bigfoot. The creature took her to his lair, where it made her his wife. Rutenbar had to have relations with the beast, clean up, and prepare food that the monster brought back to the cave.

Rutenbar was unable to escape because the Bigfoot rolled a big boulder in front of the cave opening when it left for the day. After many days of torment and nights alone, Rutenbar was able to escape when the Bigfoot left a hole in the cave entrance.

Rutenbar wandered around for a day or two before finding the campsites. There was no physical evidence that Rutenbar had been violated by a Bigfoot, nor was she able to locate the cave she claims she escaped from. She was able to sell the rights of her story to a seedy paperback novelist who published a book called, “Bigfoot, My Husband,” which was loosely based on the Rutenbar tale.

1984, Quartz Mountain Nature Park, Oklahoma: Bigfoot Taunts Fisherman

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1984, Quartz Mountain Nature Park, Oklahoma: Bigfoot Taunts Fisherman

While fishing in Quartz Park, Robert Pintoze was terrorized by a mischievous Bigfoot. Pintoze thought he felt a tug on his line, but when he tried to reel it in, he lost control of his rod and it flew into the river.

Amazed, Pintoze stood up. As he did, a brown hairy carpet seemed to float to the surface right where fishing rod went into the river. As Pintoze watched, a Bigfoot emerged from the river. It started splashing and growling and splashing water at Pintoze.

Pintoze was so frightened that he turned on his heels and ran toward his car. He left an expensive lawn chair, a cool full of beer, and a bunch of new fishing equipment behind.

As Pintoze ran away, he is certain that he heard that Bigfoot laughing at him.

1820, Cumberland Gap, Kentucky: Bigfoot Emerges From Portal

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1820, Cumberland Gap, Kentucky: Bigfoot Emerges From Portal Carrying a Squid

Andrew Rock and James Stanwick were riding through Cumberland Gap when just about sundown they witnessed a truly horrifying event.

Rock and Stanwick’s horses started getting very nervous. The kind of nervous that let you know a dangerous snake was near or a big storm was coming. They both horse bucked and tried to throw their riders.

Stanwick saw what frightened the horses. Up on the side of one of the cliffs, a swirling color tide pool appeared. Stanwick said it looked like when the water goes down a drain but instead it was the side of the mountain that disappeared. Out of the swirling mass stepped the biggest hairy creature either of the two men had ever seen.

The creature was over 16 feet tall. Rock swore it was a Bigfoot, but Stanwick said it was too big. Either way the monster stepped out into the air, and walked down like it was walking down stairs, until it was on solid dirt.

The creature snarled at the two riders, then walked off without further incident. The portal it emerged from, slowly closed up with a slight popping sound.

1997, Colville National Forest, Washington: Bigfoot Wounded By Gunman

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1997, Colville National Forest, Washington: Bigfoot Wounded By Gunman

Carl Smith was hiking deep in Colville Forest, when he saw a Bigfoot hiding behind a tree a few hundred feet in front of him.

Smith, an avid gun enthusiast, always carried a pistol while hiking, alone in the woods. Smith considered the fame and wealth he could achieve if he killed that Bigfoot and brought it to public attention. So he unholstered his weapon, carefully crept closer to his target, aimed and fired three quick shots at the beast.

The Bigfoot screamed in pain and blood splattered across the trees, so Smith knew he hit the creature. It turned and looked at him with the saddest, most disappointed eyes ever, before scrambling away. Amazed at the Bigfoot’s speed, Smith could not get another volley off at the monster.

Smith examined the spot where the Bigfoot was wounded. Hair and skin and blood were plastered on the leaves and fallen twigs. Smith is sure that it was a mere flesh wound and that the Bigfoot survived, no problem.

Smith tried to sell his story, but it turns out that most people thought he was a jerk for trying to kill the elusive creature.

 

2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

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2016, Lake Hiddenwood, South Dakota: Bigfoot in Playground

Maddy and Connor Bosarge were racing to play on the playground near where their family was camping in Lake Hiddenwood Park. Maddy who was six and Connor who was 11, stopped dead in their tracks when they saw a huge Bigfoot sitting on the top of the swing set.

“We know what Bigfoot looks like from library books,” Maddy stated matter of factly.

“Maddy knows more about Bigfoot than me,” Connor admits, “but I at least know what he looks like.”

“Yes, I am going to be a cryptozoologist when I grow up,” Maddy boasts, “So this isn’t going to be the last time I see Bigfoot, I guess.”

“Maddy said we should just leave Bigfoot alone, so we just turned around and went down by the creek.”

“Yes. I think Bigfoot was thinking about stuff. Or at least he looked like he was,” Maddy assured.

The children’s parents just think the two are quite the characters.