1902, Golden Gate Park, California: Bigfoot Attack The Bison


1902, Golden Gate Park, California: Bigfoot Attack The Bison

 The Golden Gate Park Commission purchased a herd of bison to live the park in 1891.  The herd population slowly grew so that by the turn of the century there were nearly 20 bison roaming the park.

in 1903, the Park Commission created a designated area for the bison.  This area was created in direct response to an incident that occurred in 1901.  San Francisco’s Free Love Society, a prototype hippie group who practiced sex outside of marriage and consumed a lot of marijuana baked goods, started to hold their weekly meeting in Golden Gate Park.

Usually gathering at dusk, the 50 or so members would call their gatherings to order by chiming bells and burning a small wood fire.  Yet on this night, the group witnessed a terrible act of sexual aggression.  Several members started to yell and wave their arms, pointing at a group of three bison.  These bison were being violated in the most unnatural and deviant manner by several hairy ape men.

San Francisco was plagued for a time by a tribe of Bigfoot.  Usually the Bigfoot just overturned carts and told fruit from locked storage sheds.  This night, though, the Bigfoot were engaged in unmoral carnality.  The Free Love Society raced, en mass, across the field toward the bison and Bigfoot.

The Free Love Society shouted and shook their fists trying to frighten off the Bigfoot.  To no avail.  It was one of the newer members of the Society, Trevor Hutchinson, that suggested luring the Bigfoot off the bison with marijuana brownies.  When the Bigfoot did not respond to the aroma of the baked goods, Trevor started throwing them at the copulating Bigfoot.  This got their attention.

A few minutes after the Bigfoot consumed the pot brownies, they lost interest in the bison.  They wandered off hooting and looking intently at their paws.

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