TODAY IN BIGFOOT HISTORY!
1959, Keuka Lake, New York: Citizen’s Band Radio Enthusiast Nearly Runs Over Green Bigfoot
Charles W. Schwartz was returning from the post office where he picked up the new tube for his Class D CB radio. The package had come from some Army friends of Schwartz’s still stationed over in Germany. Schwartz was admittedly distracted by the rough brown paper wrapping and the tight twine tied around the box, making immediate perusal of the interior parts, impossible.
Schwartz admitted, too, that he might have been speeding. Speeding and not paying attention, that was until he saw, out of the corner of his eye, someone step into the road. The person who came lumbering out on to the road was not a person at all. Schwartz barely had time to jerk his steering wheel to the right, cutting across the double line. He slammed on the breaks and brought his car to a screeching halt.
He was so upset that he did not even mind that his precious radio parts had been roughly strewn upon the floor of the car. Schwartz flung open his door and sprung from the car. He called out, not entirely sure that he had missed hitting the person in the road. That is when Schwartz took full account of the thing he mistook for a person.
It was clearly a monster. It was hairy and tall, with a distinct mossy, algae green glow. It had large red eyes that seemed to scream at him. A gigantic mouth with sharp, broken teeth, fangs sprouted up and over rows of incisors. It had massive palms and feet. Its toes and fingers were strangely delicate, thin, even. Schwartz said he recognized it as a Sasquatch, in part, because the creature did not seem interested, at all, in him or the missed collision. Instead, it kept moving its slow plodding path across the road. Without looking up or at him, the Sasquatch padded off into the woods toward Keuka Lake.
Schwartz considered, for a foolish second, following the monster to see where it was headed. He considered what a wonderful discovery he would make, discovering the bathing habits of the North American Sasquatch. But without a camera or any other recording device, Schwartz, rightly, considered that no one would believe whatever it was he discovered by pursuing the beast.
Schwartz’s own personal safety was, strangely, never a consideration. From that day on, Schwartz took on the CB handle of “GreenFoot,” the explanation of which he delighted in regaling the interested and the curious.