TODAY IN BIGFOOT HISTORY!
Town Clerk, Archie Bailant, was pressured to hold an emergency town hall meeting in the Bartlett Public Library, to address the rash of Bigfoot sightings in and around Bartlett.
Out-of-towners, as well as life long residents, had seen or had been menaced by a large black and brown ape creature. Not at all like a bear.
Suspicions and accusations had grown so large that local militia had organized and armed itself. They patrolled the border with Merriman State Forest.
The Sheriff had warned them that guns in the state park would not be tolerated under any circumstances, let alone one that looks and feels like an organized hunt.
Mr. Bailant spoke at great length concerning the sightings and attempted to reassure the community that there was no imminent danger. The threat was unclear, since all the sightings happened at a distance and the creature seemed incredibly skittish.
The majority of the Bartlett community took great umbrage at the fact that community resources were being wasted on this silly meeting.
The meeting adorned at 7:57 pm.