TODAY IN BIGFOOT HISTORY! Col. Robert Fox hears tell that his family farm had come under attack by a strange animal force. The assaulting creature wounded his wife with a severe, though hardly life threatening punch. While thrashing the interior of the family’s small farmhouse, after decimating the chicken coops and startling the livestock. The Fox family, the Colonel is told, has relocated to his wife’s maternal homestead in Western Tennessee. Col. Fox rushed to the farm and hastily organized a posse to search for the monster. On the second night of the hunt, the horses are spooked into flight by cracking trees and thrown bark at their stable. The next morning, the Colonel finds himself lightened by the retreat of lilly0livered cowards who fear another night in the deep woods. That will be the last anyone sees or hears of the Colonel for almost a full year. Until he emerges from the woods, covered in twigs and smelling of blackberry jam. His tale is one of abduction, fisticuffs and derring do. The creature, he claimed, kidnapped him and took him into a mossy enclave where a tribe of primitive ape men and women, lived in brutal harmony. The Colonel earned the tribe’s begrudging respect, when in a round of Queensbury Rules boxing, he broke the nose of the ape tribe’s prized fighter. The Colonel escaped by covering himself in peat and crawling among the Earth for miles.