1896, Territory of Tejas, White House

TODAY IN BIGFOOT HISTORY! President Andrew Jackson, emboldened by the tales that a race of Apemen known as Dedos Gordos inhabited the Mexican wilds of Texas, embarked upon a diplomatic mission to negotiate the sale of the Texas Territory to the United States. The Mexican Ambassador, upon learning of President Jackson’s single desire to bare knuckle fist fight the creatures was appalled. Not only did the deal fall through, but President Jackson was asked to leave without finishing his tea.

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